Real quick. . .so we’re sitting at lunch today at Logans Roadhouse. About 8 of us. If you don’t know Logan’s probably has the best rolls around. They’re incredible. So we’re waiting on our meal and I look and see about 9 rolls left on the table. I offer my buddy Chad Nikazy $40 if he would eat every roll on the table plus his meal. He can’t take forever, just knock out the rolls and then eat his meal and I pay him $40.
What do you think he did?
He passed! Wouldn’t do it. Wanted a little more. . .$60. . then $100. To eat the best rolls in town and then his meal.
I offered a friend $40 to eat a bowl of sausage gravy at Cracker Barrel. . .sold! I offered my buddy Tyler to eat a b-bque sandwich drenched in some of the hottest sauce you’ve ever tasted. . . Sold! I offer Nikazy $40 bucks to eat some rolls. . . I think I’ll pass.
Man or Mouse. . .you make the call.
PS. . .why do I do this? it makes me laugh.
Hampton 
Here’s the deal. Could this “Chad Nikazy” have easily have eaten those rolls AND his meal? Absolutely! The man is made of Iron – more machine than man really. $40 isn’t a legit offer though. Chad weighs about a buck 35. You were asking him to eat a quantity of food that even a much heavier man couldn’t have handled. Sure, he could have done it…and with no ill-effects. The problem was the $40. That’s not a legit offer for such a feet of daring.
ps. is it weird that The Figurehead refers to Chad Nikazy in 2nd person? Or that I refer to both of them that way? How many identities do I have anyway? Am I THE FIGUREHEAD…or Chad…and why does the Figurehead sometimes speak in an accent and other times does not? Weird. Isn’t the internet great!?
“Sure, he could have done it…”
Am I reading this right? Isn’t this the same Chad Nikazy that was giving away his food at the end of the meal because he couldn’t finish it? And all the rolls were still on the table!
One thing that must be taken into consideration is that Chad, at most, weighs 140 pounds. A bowl sausage gravy? Chad would have done that! The hot sandwich? Chad would have done that too! But this challange was turned down due to simple physical limitations.
Remember this is the same guy that let you squirt Famous Dave’s Devil Spit sauce in his mouth for a potential $20 pay out. He is game most times…take it easy on him.
And by the way…I would totally do the sausage gravy thing! I love me some gravy!
I think the real loser in this argument is the $40. It’s $40 dollars and it’s being completely disrespected. $40! That buys 32 powerbars at Kroger. $40! That could go towards a new one piece zip up the front siloutte that I hear Figurechad wears occassionaly when he works out. . .$40! Two Jackson’s. It’s getting dissed in this process and it’s just not right.
Boys, boys…
Don’t you all work, like, within 50 feet of each other?
I’ll go to Logan’s and get Chad’s exact meal and a batch of rolls, Hampton will up the prize to $75 and at lunch we’ll see if Chad’s stomach is as big as his eyes tell him it is.
Or something like that.
Thoze one peece zoots of which you zpeak are quite zexy, no? Ezpecially on ze Figurehead!
Viva La Figurehead!
Why haven’t I EVER received that type of offer!?!
We don’t make those offers to Yankees. You guys are like labs. . .you’ll eat anything.
Blasphemy! Don’t you know The figurehead must keep his beautiful unflawed physique for his Lady. $40 is not near enough of an offer to risk upsetting the Queen. I mean haven’t you seen those legs! They should be insured for MILLIONS!
I like the Cheddar Bread rolls at Red Lobster.
Thanks for your comments Mrs. Figurehead. NOT the visual. the comment.
Did zomevhon revyve ziss topik? Vith inflation Id zay zis offer iz now verth at leazt $80. Zame challenge – $80 – done deal. Ready tu play Mr. Hampton?